“Help Our People Pray”

During a visit to one of our countries in Africa, our team in that country and I met with an Archbishop who was very supportive of the Flame of Love and a number of his priests. I won’t say which country or Archbishop because of what he said but the conversation caught me completely off guard.

After conversing about how the Flame of Love is a gift our Blessed Mother wants to give to the entire archdiocese and that, if the Movement stays very small but the entire archdiocese is filled with this gift of grace and love, that is all that matters to us, I asked the Archbishop how the Flame of Love Movement could best serve his archdiocese. His answer is not at all what I expected. He said, “help our people pray; our people don’t know how to pray.” Then, in the midst of many of his priests, he added, “our priests don’t know how to pray.”

I don’t know what was going on with his priests and I didn’t need to know! However, his words have stuck with me: “help our people pray; our people don’t know how to pray; our priests don’t know how to pray.” Yes, we pray plenty of Rosaries and novena after novena. We may follow many devotions. But what does this Archbishop’s plea for help mean?

I believe this is one of the many great gifts the Flame of Love of the Immaculate Heart of Mary brings to the Church: with the help of our Blessed Mother and as the effect of this great outpouring of graces, our prayer becomes deeply intimate. Prayer is a deeply intimate act – a revealing and sharing of one’s most vulnerable self. Is this how we are praying? If so, great! Are we helping others to pray this way especially in our cenacles and, most of all, in our family holy hours?

Let Elizabeth Help Us Pray

We see this clearly in the Diary. When people first read the Diary, their two first thoughts always seem to be “all that suffering!” and the intimate friendship that Jesus and Elizabeth share. Have you ever wondered why Jesus “complains” so much to Elizabeth? Certainly Jesus doesn’t complain as we complain, i.e., all concerned about Himself. Nor does He have a need to vent and He has perfect fellowship in the Most Holy Trinity. However, for Elizabeth’s sake, He shares these thoughts and words as an invitation to deepen their relationship.

In English, there is a wonderful, short book written by Alan Garner entitled “Conversationally Speaking”. In it, he outlines how the development of relationships is expressed in our conversations. First, we start with small talk, chit chat about nothing much at all. Then we progress to sharing facts. When we grow comfortable enough with the other person, we begin to share our ideas and thoughts. Finally, when we develop a level of trust, we open up about our feelings. Now we are developing a more intimate relationship – the kind of relationship Jesus is cultivating with Elizabeth. Let’s look at some passages from the Diary which illustrate this deep intimacy.

Even before the Flame of Love came, in section from 1961, after Elizabeth was given the key to her Church, she writes: “After He gave me such a big house, I visited Him every night with a humble and repentant heart, moved by gratitude. In accordance with the Blessed Virgin’s desire, I adored Him and made reparation. What joy! He is always there and waiting for me. It is impossible to describe those intimate hours.” And Jesus feels the same way: “My Heart rejoices when you tell Me that you have an unquenchable thirst for Me. I feel the same for you and for all the souls whom I have filled with My graces.” (March 4-7, 1962). In Elizabeth’s handwritten Diary, she has an entry for March 8, 1963 which reads, ‘This is what the Lord Jesus said during my adoration: “I’m happy to spend every minute with you.” He repeated this several times in the course of a few days.’ A year later in this same handwritten Diary, on March 6, 1964, she records: ‘The next morning was Saturday, and the Lord once again continued the conversation: “We can never finish chatting to our hearts’ content. That’s your opinion too, My little daughter, isn’t it? But that’s no problem. Now immerse yourself in quiet adoration of Me, even in the midst of your work”‘

Like a parent is eager to listen to all their child says even if others may think it is trivial or unimportant, so our Lord is with Elizabeth and with us. Once again from the handwritten Diary on May 15, 1964: Jesus: “My little daughter My little sister, do you remember what we had agreed on? When I keep quiet, you talk. Go ahead, I pay attention to your words.” Jesus also said to her on June 29, 1964: “My Elizabeth! Oh, how much I waited for you! This loneliness is so long. I knew that our ‘goodbye’ last night would lead you to be the first to greet Me today. You fill My soul with happiness. You and I, we two! I delight to be with the children of men.” We see so many of these intimate moments in Elizabeth’s handwritten Diary. Here is another from July 14, 1964: ‘As I knelt before Him, He didn’t even let me say anything, but instead began to speak to me: “Tell Me about the troubles of your daily work now! Speak to Me! O how I waited for you, My little serving girl, my little Elizabeth! You talk now! Just one more thing: o the beating of your heart gladdens My soul.”’ And finally, this beautiful passage from December 26, 1964: ‘“My Lord, my adored Jesus, I say that every one of Your words has become part of me. This is the great goodness of Your grace. How could I thank You for this? I feel myself to be such a minute little nothing, and yet I raise my words to You. I beg You to permit me to ask: when my miserable words reach You, how do You accept them?” This time, the Lord Jesus replied immediately: “My little sister, they fuse together with My divinity. I already said that in the fullness of our union, our hearts beat as one and our souls feel in unison. Nothing separates us from each other. I have you share in My divinity. Do you know what this means?”’

Pitfalls

So having looked at Elizabeth’s beautiful example of prayer as an intimate closeness with God, let discuss a few pitfalls we can fall into.

Getting through our prayers

If we are not careful, we can sometimes fall into “getting through” our prayers – getting in our daily Rosary, our Novena, our particular devotion, our Breviary. In this case, there is a danger that the act becomes more important than God to whom we are praying. Notice Jesus’ lament from 1961 when Elizabeth comments on the large crowd that had gathered in honor of our Lady of Lourdes. ‘“Are You happy, dear Jesus, about all these devout souls who have come to You?” He replied in a sad tone of voice: “Yes, but they are in such a hurry. They do not give Me time to grant them My graces.”’

I remember the last time I (unsucessfully) attempted to join the Secular Carmelites. The leader of the Community was explaining to newcomers about the requirement to pray Morning and Evening Prayer from the Breviary. She told us, “it’s not too bad; you can get through it in 15 minutes.” I just about fell over. Get through it! To me, the Breviary is like our love song to God. When I have the time to pray the Morning Office, it can be 45 minutes to caress and dwell on each word of praise to our Beloved. Get through it?! Really?

I remember walking out of a chapel with my Rosary in my hand. I was met by a wonderful, holy priest who asked me, “how many of those do you pray a day?” I replied, “one or two” but, suspecting where he was going, I added, “and I take 45 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes for each one.” He smiled warmly in his holy way and did not go on to tell me that he prayed four Rosaries a day.

Are we getting through the words or spending intimate, unhurried time with our Lord? I do admit that, every once in a while if I have not prayed my Rosary for the day, I will pray one quickly but I turn to our Blessed Mother and say that I’d really rather just sit here in quiet prayer but, to honor my promise to you and out of love for the souls who may be blessed by the plenary indulgence that may be gained by this Rosary, I will pray this Rosary instead and I ask our Lord that, even if I speak the words quickly, may my mind and heart still dwell deeply on the mysteries.

Hiding behind a wall of prayer

Here is another pitfall perhaps driven my our culture or by our own personal fears. Do we hide behind a wall of prayer? That is, do we say our many prayers, reading from our prayer books and devotionals so that we can say and do holy things but avoid really talking to and developing an intimate relationship with our God? Do we just want to say holy things or do we want to be intimate with our Lord and give Him what He desires most of all? Are we afraid of being vulnerable? Are we afraid of not knowing what to say? It can be awkward if we are not used to it – a bit like the awkwardness of a first date! But, how will we ever move on to the wonder of marriage if we don’t risk the awkwardness of that first date.

It’s the relationship more than the words that our Lord seeks. Look at this passage from June 2, 1962: ‘At Holy Mass, there was exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. I took my prayer book (the Little Psalter), when the sweet Savior said: “Keep your prayer book and let us talk.” His words filled my soul with graces and great emotion overwhelmed me.’ Even when we pray with fixed prayers like the Rosary or the Breviary, let’s be sure they are expressing our love and interaction with our Lord and not just a torrent of words that keep us at a distance while making us feel holy.

During a recent Flame of Love Leaders Training Cenacle, our National Coordinator from Uganda spoke about how the Flame of Love has changed her prayer life. She recounted a visit from a bishop (not the one I mentioned at the beginning) who chided the people assembled to listen to him about their prayer lives. He told them “you come with all your prayer books and devotionals and say many words but you don’t stop to listen.”

Be vulnerable. Be exposed. Share yourself and your deepest feelings with our Lord. And just rejoice to be with Him. I love this passage from the handwritten Diary from April 25, 1964 where Jesus says to Elizabeth: “I’ve come to you that you might share the quiet of your little room with Me. Let’s rest together, let our ears listen to the silence, and let our souls be immersed in the ceaseless love of our heavenly Father.” Does this describe our prayer?

Who are we talking to?

The last pitfall I’ll address is to honestly ask, who are we talking to? We say we are talking to God but are we really? So often, even when we pray in our own words as if it was a conversation (as it should be) I hear us pray as if God was in the next room. “I pray that God would do this”; “oh that God would do that.” If we find ourselves praying to God in the third person, I suggest shifting to the second person: “My dear Lord, would you kindly do this?” Now we are talking to Him, with Him, rather than speaking as if He was overhearing our conversation from the next room.

I remember one year when I was teaching what is now OCIA, i.e., for people coming into the Catholic Church, I was teaching the group to pray the Rosary and describing how it is a beautiful prayer of being with our Lord and Lady and reliving these important events in their lives with them. I spoke about how, as we meditate on the mysteries, we can talk to those involved – they are our family in Heaven. Ask Saint John the Baptist or Zechariah or Archangel Gabriel or our Blessed Mother or our Lord about the event. One of the men really got this and was trying. I believe he was praying the Annunciation and he said, “I wonder what Mary thought about (I don’t remember what exactly)”. So I replied, “I don’t know; she’s right here; ask her yourself!” And I should clarify – not that we expect to start hearing voices but it is a way of being immersed in a real way with the experiences of our family in Heaven in these mysteries. Let’s remember to talk to and interact with our family in Heaven as we pray.

Finally, are we praying or are we preaching? This is a particular danger if we are leading a group. I know I need to be careful about this all the time. It’s so easy to slip into some kind of admonition or instruction to the group with whom we are praying but then we are really talking to them and not to God. Let’s be sure that, when we pray in a group, we really are praying to God and not to those assembled. This is both an example to them, an antidote to our potential for spiritual pride, and much more of what our most loving God desires for us when we pray.

Let’s Bring Joy to Our Beloved

Yes, the Flame of Love of the Immaculate Heart of Mary can be a great blessing to the Church to help our people pray. It is the Movement of Grace, the greatest outpouring of graces since the Word was made flesh. Let that great outpouring of graces transform our prayer. As we cover in our formation program, we usually think about grace changing our relationships with other people, e.g., we become more kind or patient toward them, but the most important change grace should make in our lives is in our relationship with God.

By grace, we become partakers of the divine nature – to begin to think and feel and act and love and live as God does. We can move from having just a human relationship with God (I’ll do this for you and you’ll do this for me – the Old Covenant) to having a God like relationship with God. Remember Jesus’ prayer in John 17:26 that the love with which the Father loves the Son will be in us – so that we can love God with His own love. What an almost unimaginable gift to us and what a beautiful gift we can return to the Father and the Most Holy Trinity when we love them back with the same love – when we pray to them with this love. Please, let us make our prayers an act of this love, an act of deep intimacy with our God who loves us to death. And, as we grow in this love and help our Blessed Mother spread this great gift of the Flame of Love, let us answer this Archbishop’s plea and help our people pray.