Make Love a Habit

As I travel around the world, it is a great blessing to meet so many of the devoted, inspiring people of the Flame of Love. But I’m often surprised at how few observe the practices of the Flame of Love offered by Jesus and Mary to Elizabeth. I’m not much for New Year’s resolutions but I suggest this one for 2026 – to recommit ourselves to these powerful practices. This is not because they are a requirement or because we want to be spiritually superior but because doing so helps make love a habit and it is this habitual love that keeps Satan blinded. This is the point: make love a habit, but, to avoid misunderstanding, let’s explore this more fully.

No Guilt, No Requirements, Just Opportunities

In our formation, I talk about how Christians don’t ask, “what do I have to do” but rather, “what can I do”. I also point out that sometimes the answer to that question is “as much as I’m doing and no more.” I mean that entirely. If there are things we truly cannot do, we do not need to feel guilty about not doing them including these practices of the Flame of Love.

We must also be careful to not sit in judgment of one another. Here I must confess my own shortcomings. I was with a number of our leaders for a Monday event and we went to lunch. All of us ordered simple bread except for one who ordered soup. I didn’t say anything but I was thinking, “why is this leader having soup for lunch on a Monday.” I then remembered that this person is diabetic and it was likely quite a sacrifice for them to just have soup for lunch. I had to upbraid myself for my stupidity. So please, let us not fall into this same trap.

Nonetheless, as we can observe these practices, they are powerful tools of grace that pervade every moment of our lives to help make love a habit.

Jesus: “Let your sacrifices always be fervent. I would like to increase my graces in you. However, to do that, I need greater acceptance of sacrifices. Accept My plea, be very humble and renounce every pleasure which does not serve Me. Renounce the reading of frivolous books, the hearing of your favorite music, and the seeking to be among others. On your walks, think only of My sacred Passion.
I want you to increase your fasts if you accept. Do not give yourself to any pleasure. Let your breakfast and your afternoon meal be bread and water. You can have other foods only at your principal meal, but make them tasteless. Do not eat to please your taste but only to nourish your body. . . . . You must renounce more of your sleep. I ask you for two hours of prayer, so that you have to get up twice every night for one hour. My beloved, can I count on you? I, the Man-God, ask this of you.” May 4, 1962

It sounds like Jesus is being so hard on Elizabeth but it is not Jesus being hard on Elizabeth. Rather, He is opening her eyes to see how much she can love, how much she can fill each moment of the day with love, how much she can make love a habit. And this is not an exhaustive list. Both Jesus and Mary say, “don’t ask me what to do; be creative.” In other words, find even more ways to love, to make love a habit.

How it works

Why so many seeming demands? Think about all these practices for a moment. Fasting, tasteless meals, what does that do? It means every time we eat or think about eating, we are making a decision about how to love in our eating. Night vigils, removing all the distractions out of our lives to be completely dedicated to the salvation of souls – what does that do? It means every time we make a decision about how to use our time, we are asking how to love with that time – how to sacrifice what we want for ourselves, even that to which we have a right, to instead choose for love, to sacrifice for other. Every time we dress, we have the opportunity to ask how we can dress out of love. Every time we drive, every time we speak, every time we look at someone, we have the opportunity to love in our driving, in our speaking, in our glances.

As we do this in every part of our lives, in every moment of our day, something changes in us – we make love a habit. All of these practices that are given to us so that we can learn how to love in every moment are no longer lessons; they become the expressions of love. More than just a habit, love becomes second nature. In fact, love becomes first nature because we become love because God is love and we become partakers of the Divine Nature.

This is why I ask us to make a New Year’s resolution to be more committed to the practices of the Flame of Love – for one reason and one reason alone: by doing love we become love. This is the effect of grace. All these practices are the opportunities to do practical, every day, every moment love. If we neglect them, we are neglecting the opportunities to make love a habit. So, as we can, let us recommit ourselves to these practices until we make love a habit, until we become the love that blinds Satan, every day, every moment, always, until we are truly one with Jesus. Happy New Year!