Thanks to Those Who Struggle

Thank you to those of you who struggle – those who struggle with forgiveness, those who struggle with being loving and kind. Thank you. You are a gift to others and you have received the gift of this struggle because you show more than others the miraculous nature of the love we are called to be.

The need for a miraculous love is less obvious to those who do not struggle as much. We all have our pains and our wounds in life but, thanks be to God, some have not been deeply scarred, deeply wounded. For them, forgiveness may be difficult but manageable. Others have experienced life shattering, unthinkable hurt at the hands of others – pain that others cannot begin to understand. For them, forgiveness may seem like an impossible mountain to climb – they just can’t get to the point where they can forgive someone who has hurt them so much. They know and feel deeply that it is going to take a miracle. Only a miraculous love will give them the love needed to see the one who has hurt them so badly as Jesus sees them – to feel about them the way that Jesus feels about them – to forgive them the way Jesus forgives them. They know they need a miracle.

Some people are naturally disposed to be kind, generous, and loving. Some have grown up in kind, loving homes. Others have grown up in angry, unforgiving homes, brow beaten, demeaned, and never able to meet the impossible expectations. Some are genetically disposed toward kindness. If you are a GG genotype, you are genetically disposed toward kindness. I didn’t get those genes! My sisters did but I didn’t. I sadly joke that II Timothy 3 is my biography: “But understand this: there will be terrifying times in the last days. People will be self-centered and lovers of money, proud, haughty, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, irreligious, callous, implacable, slanderous, licentious, brutal, hating what is good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God” (II Timoth 3:1-4 NABRE). Yes, that’s me – lustful, mean, cutting, angry, short tempered, insufferably arrogant. If I have understood anything at all about love it is not because I’m holy but because I have struggled. If I need any proof of God’s existence, it is that I can love at all.

One of my (many) favorite Saints is Saint Jerome, the Patron Saint of those with difficult personalities – an angry, short tempered, lustful man who knew it and struggled with all his might. He knew he needed a miracle. I know I need a miracle. Those of you who struggle know you need a miracle.

Elizabeth struggled the same way. “Your bad temper will go on, but out of this evil nature, I will accomplish a masterpiece if you agree to submit to My divine hand.” (September 24, 1963) “I’m so happy that you practice with great diligence this virtue, which is so contrary to your nature.” (July 7-8, 1965)

However, all of us need this miracle. Those of us who do not struggle as much have much we can learn from those who do for, until we come to see that we need a physician, we cannot be healed (Matthew 9:12). We must be a people of miraculous love and not the human love that everyone else has – the love that comes so naturally to some (Matthew 5:46-47). Miraculous love is what defines us. “I place a beam of light in your hands; it is the Flame of Love of my heart. Add your love to this Flame” (Spiritual Diary – April 13, 1962).

This is the great gift The Flame of Love of the Immaculate Heart of Mary brings to the Church. Satan’s most stealthy attack is not temptation to lust or anger or greed; it is deceiving us into a love that is not God’s love. I hear this often in the Church; instead of God’s love I hear washed over Psychology. “Forgive so you can be released of that burden of carrying the unforgiveness.” “Forgive because holding onto the anger is like you drinking poison and thinking your enemy will die.” “Forgive because holding onto the pain is exhausting.” “Forgive so you can be free.” I suppose those are all better than not forgiving and may be acceptable intermediate steps but upon whom are all those phrases focused? SELF! We are forgiving others for the sake of ourselves. This is not true forgiveness; this is not true healing; this is not miraculous love; this is not Christian.

We forgive because we have come to feel about the person who hurt us the way that Jesus feels about them because our souls are feeling in unison – feeling what He feels. We forgive because we have come to look at the one who hurt us the way Jesus looks at them because our eyes have fused with His to see with the same set of eyes. We forgive because we have come to think about the one who hurt us the way Jesus thinks about them because the thoughts of our minds are one. We forgive the one who hurt us the most not for OURSELVES but for THEM – because we LOVE THEM the way Jesus loves them. We love them with a miraculous love. Yes, it takes a miracle.

I hear the same washed over Psychology passed off as Christianity when it comes to dealing with difficult, unpleasant people. “See Jesus in them.” “Look for the good in others.” “Remember Matthew 25 – what you did for the least of My brothers, you did for me.” That misses an important part of the parable. Did you ever notice that the sheep on Jesus’ right are surprised? They had no idea it was Jesus. “Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?'” (Matthew 25:37 NABRE)

We do not need to rehabilitate people in our minds before we love them! We love them as they are, who they are, in all their unpleasantness. We do not love them because we see Jesus IN them but because we see them AS Jesus sees them! We don’t need to recreate THEM in our minds; WE need to be recreated into the image of Jesus. We need a miraculous love and not a psychology assisted love.

This is the love that blinds Satan – not any other. This is the only love that will really put out hatred. This is the only love that will bring peace. This is the love of the Flame of Love – add your love to it. So thank you to all of you who struggle. You remind us that we can’t do this through psychology, genetics, or general niceness. Like you, we all need a miracle whether we are naturally nice or another Saint Jerome.

Be a people of miraculous love!